Friday, March 30, 2012

If I Had A Few Million Dollars...

It’s all over the news today. Seriously. This is overshadowing the Republican Primaries on CNN right now. Personally, I’m just fighting the urge to post lyrics to “If I Had A Million Dollars” by the Barenaked Ladies all over my social network feeds.
Honestly, haven’t you always wanted a monkey?
However, it does lead to thinking, what WOULD you do with that kind of cash? I figure that if you take the lump sum payment, minus taxes, you’ll be sitting on ROUGHLY 250 million dollars. That’s the type of change that makes relatives that you never even know existed come out of the woodwork.
Now, of course we have the normal dreams. Get ourselves out of debt. Pay off our house, or break our lease and buy a house. Help out members of our family, and our close friends with their debts. Set up our children for life. Quit our job the way we’ve always dreamed of because, honestly, who can’t shake arson charges with that kind of money?
Okay, seriously, Office Space. It’s a play off that. I’m not seriously going to burn the building down just because they took my stapler.
But honestly, is that all we’d do? If we’re thinking big, let’s think big. And we’re geeks, we can think really big.
First, I do believe that the house will have a small theater in it that is accessible through a hidden door. “Oh yeah, tilt back the bust of Shakespeare and the door opens.” Nope, it’ll be behind a Han Solo in Carbonite. You’ll hit one of the switches on the side and the door will open into a home theater. Now, some of you that know me are probably asking why I wouldn’t use a Tardis shell, because obviously the theater room would look bigger on the inside?
The Tardis would be the wardrobe. Seriously, don’t you pay attention?
And then there are the cars.
Back To The Future DeLorean? I could learn to drive stick.
Batmobile? Heck, yes. I’ll take a ’66, a Keaton, and a Tumbler. You can keep your Kilmer and your Clooney.
Herbie? Let’s trick it out with some extra effects.
Ecto 1? After I also get a clean ’59 Caddy for Shannon. Those are the rules.
Oh, and the time. Have everything invested where I have a steady income, just off that? I have always dreamed of just travelling the country and geek exploring. I want to explore and build the definitive database of Geek Points of Interest. I want to cover everything from Comic Book Shops to movie shooting locations.  I just want to be able to afford to take crazy chances like that. I want to be able to go through Kickstarter and go “This looks like it’s really cool. Let’s do it,” and make someone’s day.
Dreams, that’s what I’m buying.
Honestly, though?
I’m just going to be a few bucks poorer come tomorrow morning.
Good luck to you all,

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