Trying To Stay Positive

So is everybody doing all right today? I certainly hope so. I know I’m trying to keep up with everything, keep my chin up, moving ahead without dwelling on past failures, insert motivation platitude here, that sort of thing.

One thing I’ve been trying to focus on is keeping my outlook more positive and up. I used to smoke half a pack a day, and that’s how I used to deal with stress and uncomfortable situations. That is no longer an option, and hasn’t been the case since the Geekling was born. So I’ve seen myself slipping into being snarky, a jerk, and even a bit of a mean jackhole. That is not who my wife married, and that is not the father my daughter needs, so I’ve been putting forward a conscious effort to try to get my attitude up.

In my position at work, I do what I can to bring a smile to the face of my co-workers, or the visitors. I’m currently in the role of front desk/reception/switchboard at the office, so I see almost everyone at one time or another. Since good vibes breed good vibes, I do what I can up front. However, do you know how difficult it is to remain positive when you have CNN playing on a TV in the lobby for 9.5 hours a day? I am so tired about hearing about Whitney’s funeral, and the Republican Clown Show of a primary race. And while there is important news, like the fighting in Syria, I don’t CARE about a gay sheriff in Arizona, and I especially don’t care to hear these stories cycle through every 45 minutes. Luckily, since I have spent years working around televisions blaring videos, and radios blaring music, I have become very good at blocking everything out.

Another thing that doesn’t help is when people just expect me to do things without questioning at work. For example, I normally show up early. Let’s me make some oatmeal, and casually get schedules printed out for the conference rooms and not be rushed. However, when people come storming up to me with a problem, or expecting me to do something right when I walk in the door? Seriously, I can NOT clock in early. I am NOT authorized for overtime, and I don’t have people that can easily cover me if I have to leave early. Yet, they don’t back off. Luckily for their sake, no one has filed a complaint when I tell them that they have to wait until I’m on the clock, probably because I’m a LOT nicer than I have any right to be, but it still grates on me.

Yet, through all of this, all I can do is take a breath, remember my family, and keep going. That’s all anyone can do.

Just don’t push me, since I might be getting close to my breaking point soon. ;) However, in the mean time, would you like some tea?

Tony